Monday, October 4, 2010
One of our new favorite shows is Parenthood on NBC. I love it. It speaks to me. The other night Husband and I were watching it and the character Kristina was told that she "catastrophizes" everything. I looked over at Husband and said, "that's me!" I totally do that. I cannot watch my boys play without thinking about how they're going to fall or how they might break their leg or arm. And then throw into that the fact that FB takes blood thinners for his mechanical aortic valve and it's just more than my heart can take! Husband tells me and the boys all the time, "it's all gloom and doom with Mom." And he's so right, because it is. I always think of how things are going to go bad at any minute. If I'm driving on the interstate, I think about how we could wreck, about what would happen if something happened to me or the boys or whoever else is in the car with me. Who would take care of the boys if something happened to me or Husband or both of us? What if something happened to Husband and I? My mind reels with all the horrific scenarios over and over. I suppose worry is part of being a mom. I wish I didn't worry so much and take everything fun and turn it into some awful catastrophe but I can't help myself. For a long time, I thought this was just something that I did. Now I know, "catastrophization" isn't just me and there's a little comfort in knowing I'm not alone here.