He MUST get that from his Daddy...

With our First Born, clothing options have never been an issue.  He lets us pick out what he's going to wear and in the past he has even worn things that were uncomfortable without complaint.  Like one time I was helping him get ready for bathtime and I noticed that his pants had left a mark on his belly.  I said, "do these pants hurt?"  He confirmed that, yes, they did.  And of course, the motherly guilt kicked into overdrive when I thought about how many times he had worn them lately.  The point is, he will wear anything you ask him to wear without any thought as to why or even if it matches or not.  But don't be confused, he has always been well adorned given that his Grandma is a shoe and clothing shopaholic.  And it's the good stuff too.  Thanks, Mom.

Then along came Second Born.  With all the GAP jeans and cargo pants and cute Polo shirts and the altogether amazing wardrobe items he was able to inherit from his older brother, he was pretty much set from the beginning.  Of course, we still shopped and bought him even more super cool clothes.  He was gonna be styling, for sure. 

One of SB's first words was "button."  I thought, "Oh, that's so cute, he's pointing to my button and telling me what it is, such a SMART boy!"  Apparently not so much.  Don't misunderstand, he's definitely a smart boy!  But he wasn't telling me that it was a button.  He was fully aware of what it was and I think what he was trying to say was, "Woman, get that button away from me...and make it quick!!"  Yes, he has issues with buttons...and zippers...and pockets.  He refuses to wear anything that has a button or a zipper or a pocket.  And he'd really prefer everyone else to refrain from wearing clothing with buttons, zippers and pockets.  He will come up to me and tell me, "Mommy, I like your sweater, it doesn't have any buttons."  Thanks, I guess.  So if it isn't enough that his clothes have to be free from all buttons, zippers and pockets, they also have to be "cool."  The "cool" status can also change based on his mood.  Some days, soccer shirts are cool, some days, they aren't.  I don't really understand the issue he has with clothes.  Most people say, "isn't that funny?" to which I think, yes, it is....except at 6:30 am when you're trying to get him dressed for the day and he refuses to wear anything that's clean in his closet.  But my *favorite* is "He probably has sensory issues."  I mean, sure that could be it but, really??  Do you think you can diagnose my child just because I tell you he doesn't like buttons.  I mean, it rings true for any type of discussion about your kids.  People automatically assume that they know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.  Maybe, just maybe, he just doesn't like buttons.  I don't like turtlenecks because I don't like things touching my neck.  It makes me feel like I'm choking.  Maybe this whole "issue" is inherited from me!  Who knows, and really who cares?  It certainly isn't affecting his growth or development.  Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent here that could be an entirely different and complete post on its own. 

He'll just always be the kid wearing "soccer" shorts and t-shirts.  I'm OK with that.  It's quirky and it's cute and it's probably something we'll laugh and joke about when he's older.   And if anyone asks, he gets it from his Daddy...

Catastrophization

One of our new favorite shows is Parenthood on NBC.  I love it.  It speaks to me.  The other night Husband and I were watching it and the character Kristina was told that she "catastrophizes" everything.  I looked over at Husband and said, "that's me!"  I totally do that.  I cannot watch my boys play without thinking about how they're going to fall or how they might break their leg or arm.  And then throw into that the fact that FB takes blood thinners for his mechanical aortic valve and it's just more than my heart can take!  Husband tells me and the boys all the time, "it's all gloom and doom with Mom."  And he's so right, because it is.  I always think of how things are going to go bad at any minute.  If I'm driving on the interstate, I think about how we could wreck, about what would happen if something happened to me or the boys or whoever else is in the car with me.  Who would take care of the boys if something happened to me or Husband or both of us?   What if something happened to Husband and I?  My mind reels with all the horrific scenarios over and over.  I suppose worry is part of being a mom.  I wish I didn't worry so much and take everything fun and turn it into some awful catastrophe but I can't help myself.  For a long time, I thought this was just something that I did.  Now I know, "catastrophization" isn't just me and there's a little comfort in knowing I'm not alone here. 

Talk about boy crazy

Last night we had our first Cub Scouts Pack Meeting.  WOW!  I mean, WOW.  There were about 50 boys, all elementary school age running around in a not big enough room and I think Husband's head was going to explode before we'd even been there 10 minutes.  I didn't really start to lose it until we Den Leaders took the boys outside to have snack and run around.  And, boy did they ever run around.  I suppose it was good for them to get some energy out but they were making me a nervous wreck.  I just knew someone was going to bleed at any moment.  Some boys were just running around chasing each other.  Some were rolling down the hill.  Some were wrestling.  It was chaos but I think they were having fun.  It didn't look like fun to me, but I'm not a 6 or 7 or 8 year old boy so what do I know?  Eventually one little boy got kicked in the head when he and another were rolling down the hill.  He cried for a minute but seemed to get himself back together soon enough.  Overall, things were going rather well considering the banshees were generally staying in the confined area where we could watch them and yell to them when their wrestling got rough.  Then about four of my Tiger Cubs lost the "brass" slides that hold their neckerchiefs around their necks.  I yelled out to the group, "We're missing four Tiger Cub slides.  Everyone look for them and the first one to find one gets a prize!"  Yes, of course, I had no prize.  You should have seen them run around looking for those slides!  They were boys on a mission!  I couldn't believe how well that worked to get them all focused on a task together.  I'm going to save that and use it again later someday.  I didn't even really feel bad when the first boy came running up the hill, grinning from ear to ear, screaming, "I found one!"  When he handed it to me, he said, "What's the prize?" I just smiled and said, "You get a round of applause and a high five."  He gave me that knowing sneer and walked off.  Yeah, sorry kid, life's full of disappointment.  Maybe I taught them something last night after all.

But wait, there's more!

The Kindergarten saga continues...

We had our regularly scheduled check up in February with our pediatric cardiologist.  He said things were not holding out from FB's first surgery as well as they had expected.  He wanted to get another x-ray and to also talk about FB's case at his heart board meeting in a couple weeks.  We knew that day FB was going to have surgery again, and sooner rather than the later we had planned. 

A week or so went by and we got the call.  "Yes, we do want to go ahead and do another repair on his aortic valve.  We'll set him up with an appointment with Dr. Amazing Surgeon again and go from there.  We're thinking about having it during his Spring Break."  Oh, you mean in just another month and a half?  Again, GREAT!  So we cried and worried and waited. 

At the same time they were still deciding about his IEP at school and for what services he would qualify.  We had our IEP meeting on Thursday before Spring Break and we had a meeting with the surgeon the next day so the school couldn't implement his IEP until after he recovered from surgery and returned to school.

His surgery was originally going to be another repair of his aortic valve.  Then when we met with the surgeon, he told us his plan was to fashion new aortic valve cusps out of his pericardium tissue.  OK. Sounds good.  We trust in your judgment, of course.

Surgery day arrived, after being postponed a week to accommodate the doctor's schedules, and we were again scared to death.  Our prayers were answered again and he made it through the surgery.  We did end up with a mid-surgery change in plans, however.  FB's aortic root was too big to make the aortic cusps out of his pericardium but big enough that they could go ahead and implant a mechanical valve.  This means that FB will need to take blood thinners for the rest of his life and that includes finger sticks to check his levels regularly.  Oh, and he ticks.  As in, you can hear his mechanical valve ticking all the time, which makes hide and go seek terribly difficult.  But other than that, he's the picture of health.  We also hope that he will never need to have surgery again, at least not before he's 70 or so and we're long gone!  Hallelujah! 

He went back to school about 3 weeks before school was out for the summer.  We survived those few short weeks without any issues and were glad to start our summer off on the right foot.

Long story short, FB has had so much shit to put up with in his life, it's just ridiculous.  I suppose other people have worse things and I shouldn't complain because in the end, he's fine now, heart-wise.   First grade has been pretty calm so far.  He's had a few incidents this year, the headlock for example, which won him a recess-free day on the following school day.  Fortunately, they haven't sent him home yet this year, which is awesome.  But we are surviving. One Day at a Time.  And of course, if you call my phone or leave me a voice mail during school hours, I'm liable to answer with an exasperated tone because you have just given me heart palpitations.  Don't you know it kills me when my phone rings? Don't call me unless it's an emergency, or in fact aforementioned headlock has once again occurred...

Halloween costumes issues

Second Born decided a month or so ago that he wanted to be Batman for Halloween. I was cool with that.  Of course, part of me wished First Born would want to be Robin to his Batman because I'm into that sort of themed Halloween costume stuff.  Last year they were both Star Wars Clone Troopers and the year before that we all dressed up as the Scooby Doo gang. 

Anyway, last weekend we had to stop by Wal-mart to get a card before my niece's birthday party and they had a Batman costume for $20 so I thought, "SCORE."  Check that off the list.  I took it over to SB and showed it to him and he said, "Yay!  I want to be the black Batman!"  Really loud, at Wal-mart.  Husband and I quickly explained that no he was not the black Batman, he was the "Dark Knight Batman."  Geez, you gotta be on your toes all the time with this parenting stuff!

I'm gonna have to work on that...

My kids are going through the "We want to sleep in your bed" phase.  FB much more so than SB.  SB will usually make it through most of the night in his bed.  If he comes in our room, it's about 5 or 6 am.  FB, however, shows up around the time we're finally going to bed at about 11 or 12.  I have resisted for a couple months now by making him go back to his bed, many times after several attempts to sneak in to our bed when he thinks we've finally fallen asleep.  He whines and begs for me to "puhleease let him sleep in your bed, I promise I'll be still."  We've told him numerous times about how he kicks and moves around a lot in his sleep and wakes us up throughout the night. 

Then on Tuesday night we all had the worst night for sleeping ever.  Husband was sick and woke up to get sick a couple times.  FB was having a hard time staying asleep and woke up several times to try and get in our bed or just tell me how he wasn't tired.  Then with all the comotion, SB woke up to pee and see why we were making all that noise.  Finally, I thought, if we're ever going to get any sleep I'm going to have to let them sleep with me.  Husband actually sent us all to bed in our room and put himself on the couch.  It was survival mode kicking in to high gear at that point. 

The past two nights we thought we'd be real smart and put both the boys in FB's bed together with a movie on the TV.  I know, I'm so terrible, I let my kids watch TV, and in their room, and sometimes to fall asleep.  I fall asleep with the TV on all the time even as a kid I did this and I'm fine. Don't judge.  Anyway, we thought that would keep them together and out of our bed.  They certainly wouldn't be scared when they have each other.  Wednesday night we put them in FB's room, turned on the movie and as usual, FB was asleep in 2.3 seconds.  SB stayed up and watched almost the entire movie.  He did finally come out and say he wanted to sleep in his own bed.  I tucked him in and they both slept well that night.  I think FB ended up in our bed at some point but he didn't wake me up to get in so I don't know when it was.

Last night, we tried the same tactic.  FB fell asleep pretty quickly and then SB finally fell asleep in his brother's bed too.  AND much faster than the previous night.  We're making progress here.  As Husband and I crawled into bed last night we thought we'd finally figured out the answer to our little problem.  

Then about five minutes later, our bedroom door busted open like someone was kicking in the door.  I looked over and said, "Geez, it sounded like you were bustin' down the door, FB."  He smiled as crawled up into his spot between us and said, "Yeah, I'm gonna have to work on that." 

Kindergarten continued...

We started at the new school in January of 2010.  We made an appointment with the counselor and principal and explained to them our situation.  They were more than willing to work with FB. Of course, being that we were now in a public school, they had no choice in the matter.  They were glad that we were willing to help out in any way we could.  They told us on numerous occasions about how grateful they were that we were willing to submit FB to any testing and that we wanted them to help us in any and every way they could.  I cannot imagine a parent not wanting someone to help their child if they're having difficulty at school, but apparently that is a common thing. 


FB had more testing through the school system and they determined that he did qualify for services and developed an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for him.  He also had the help of a school system behavior support person.  It was actually this guys job to go to school everyday and sit with FB throughout his day and work with him on his behavior.  OMG, are you serious?  You can do that?  We can get that?  Thank you, God!  Our prayers have been answered!  Unfortunately, this was just a temporary situation until they could get all aspects of his IEP in place. 


And then, more shit hit the fan...