Thursday, October 21, 2010

He MUST get that from his Daddy...

With our First Born, clothing options have never been an issue.  He lets us pick out what he's going to wear and in the past he has even worn things that were uncomfortable without complaint.  Like one time I was helping him get ready for bathtime and I noticed that his pants had left a mark on his belly.  I said, "do these pants hurt?"  He confirmed that, yes, they did.  And of course, the motherly guilt kicked into overdrive when I thought about how many times he had worn them lately.  The point is, he will wear anything you ask him to wear without any thought as to why or even if it matches or not.  But don't be confused, he has always been well adorned given that his Grandma is a shoe and clothing shopaholic.  And it's the good stuff too.  Thanks, Mom.

Then along came Second Born.  With all the GAP jeans and cargo pants and cute Polo shirts and the altogether amazing wardrobe items he was able to inherit from his older brother, he was pretty much set from the beginning.  Of course, we still shopped and bought him even more super cool clothes.  He was gonna be styling, for sure. 

One of SB's first words was "button."  I thought, "Oh, that's so cute, he's pointing to my button and telling me what it is, such a SMART boy!"  Apparently not so much.  Don't misunderstand, he's definitely a smart boy!  But he wasn't telling me that it was a button.  He was fully aware of what it was and I think what he was trying to say was, "Woman, get that button away from me...and make it quick!!"  Yes, he has issues with buttons...and zippers...and pockets.  He refuses to wear anything that has a button or a zipper or a pocket.  And he'd really prefer everyone else to refrain from wearing clothing with buttons, zippers and pockets.  He will come up to me and tell me, "Mommy, I like your sweater, it doesn't have any buttons."  Thanks, I guess.  So if it isn't enough that his clothes have to be free from all buttons, zippers and pockets, they also have to be "cool."  The "cool" status can also change based on his mood.  Some days, soccer shirts are cool, some days, they aren't.  I don't really understand the issue he has with clothes.  Most people say, "isn't that funny?" to which I think, yes, it is....except at 6:30 am when you're trying to get him dressed for the day and he refuses to wear anything that's clean in his closet.  But my *favorite* is "He probably has sensory issues."  I mean, sure that could be it but, really??  Do you think you can diagnose my child just because I tell you he doesn't like buttons.  I mean, it rings true for any type of discussion about your kids.  People automatically assume that they know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.  Maybe, just maybe, he just doesn't like buttons.  I don't like turtlenecks because I don't like things touching my neck.  It makes me feel like I'm choking.  Maybe this whole "issue" is inherited from me!  Who knows, and really who cares?  It certainly isn't affecting his growth or development.  Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent here that could be an entirely different and complete post on its own. 

He'll just always be the kid wearing "soccer" shorts and t-shirts.  I'm OK with that.  It's quirky and it's cute and it's probably something we'll laugh and joke about when he's older.   And if anyone asks, he gets it from his Daddy...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Catastrophization

One of our new favorite shows is Parenthood on NBC.  I love it.  It speaks to me.  The other night Husband and I were watching it and the character Kristina was told that she "catastrophizes" everything.  I looked over at Husband and said, "that's me!"  I totally do that.  I cannot watch my boys play without thinking about how they're going to fall or how they might break their leg or arm.  And then throw into that the fact that FB takes blood thinners for his mechanical aortic valve and it's just more than my heart can take!  Husband tells me and the boys all the time, "it's all gloom and doom with Mom."  And he's so right, because it is.  I always think of how things are going to go bad at any minute.  If I'm driving on the interstate, I think about how we could wreck, about what would happen if something happened to me or the boys or whoever else is in the car with me.  Who would take care of the boys if something happened to me or Husband or both of us?   What if something happened to Husband and I?  My mind reels with all the horrific scenarios over and over.  I suppose worry is part of being a mom.  I wish I didn't worry so much and take everything fun and turn it into some awful catastrophe but I can't help myself.  For a long time, I thought this was just something that I did.  Now I know, "catastrophization" isn't just me and there's a little comfort in knowing I'm not alone here.